I remember a time when my Mom had cut herself so badly. There was blood all the way from the kitchen, into the living room. Down the hall and into her and her boyfriends bathroom. It was HORRIBLE!!!!! I called my friend. She told her Mom. Her Mom called 911 and left to come pick me up. I climbed out of my bedroom window. I was 13 by now and clearly understood what was happening now. Unlike when I was 10 and just learning what cutting was. So, I climbed out my bedroom window. Ran down the very steep road, with no sidewalks, in the pitch dark. There were no street lights because now we lived in the country again, in Massachusetts.
When I was 10. I was just starting to figure out that my Mom was cutting herself. We lived in the country, in Connecticut. Then when I was 11, we moved to a city in Massachusetts. Then moved to the house in the country of Massachusetts, because my Mom couldn’t handle the city anymore. With her smoking crack addiction and all…
I remember seeing her walk across the street with a black garbage back on her back. Like Santa carries presents. I later found out that she took her boyfriends guns and smoked crack with the proceeds! She was smoking crack with stolen gun money!! I can only imagine how scary and hard that must of been for her ex boyfriend. What if someone committed a crime or murder with those guns! Wow, just wow! He still stayed with her and we moved to the country afterwards. To the house that she would continue to destroy my childhood in. To the house where I didn’t want to come out of my room in the morning.
I was so alone. Even though she was there, I was all by myself. She didn’t give a fuck about me. That was the last time I saw her for awhile. I stayed with my friend for a week. Then, I went back to a foster home, that I was originally in when I was 12. 12 years old is the first time that I got taken away from my Mom. Right after the incident where she had the knife and told me to leave her the fuck alone! It felt so good to get away from her. And him. Both of those damn alcoholics. I remember that it was my Mom who smoked crack, she had the drug addiction, not her boyfriend. He also found sobriety and recovery with God and is a really amazing person and Granddaddy now!!!
So, the point of sharing my story is to show people that you can change too! Get help, go to rehab, or whatever treatment that you want! Just get help!!!!!!! Someday, it is my goal to have Mom houses around the U.S. that help Mom’s learn to be Mom’s!! As well as help with addiction and recovery!!!! Our children are the future people! Thank you for reading my blog and I truly appreciate each and every single one of you!!! Please feel free to share your story of addiction, recovery, or anything that would help others!!! …………..~Dana~………….